Uncharted Waters

I wish I had been born in a future generation where there are no couples, or at least, it’s not the default, not the expected route – because there are lots of possible routes. There’s less competitiveness because women are equal, and we are all trying to emulate men and masculine qualities much less. Here the patriarchal, consumerist and religious drivers for marriage (and by … Continue reading Uncharted Waters

Learning is painful. And it takes time.

For almost a whole month I have not written a post. This is a long hiatus – the longest since I began blogging (albeit less than a year ago!). But there is a really good reason for this – I’ve been busy, suddenly with dates and job applications (in my quest to find a co-parent and financial support respectively) for my potential baby (I want a … Continue reading Learning is painful. And it takes time.

My relationship world view; negative or pragmatic?

I realise through my candid discussions with newlover how sad it can be to be confronted with someone else’s ‘new paradigm‘ perspective on romantic relationships, like the one I have. The sadness of what he was saying really hit me the other day when we were talking and I wondered if what I say and the beliefs I explore affect people around me who I … Continue reading My relationship world view; negative or pragmatic?

Don’t assume you know my relationship priorities

I used to fall for people who I really liked & really fancied. Usually I liked them so much partly because they were somehow unavailable, maybe not looking for a relationship like I was – or at least not with me. Then, my heart having been broken by some such man in a life changing ‘I’m never putting myself through that again’ kind of way, … Continue reading Don’t assume you know my relationship priorities

The thing that’s so great….

The thing that is just so great for me about the way I view things now is that all of that stuff – the things people used to say, that they still might say – the ‘old paradigm’ stuff where what I should be ultimately working towards is a partner and probably kids, and anything that isn’t about working towards that is wasting my time … Continue reading The thing that’s so great….

Rhetoric of Singledom

There’s something really important about the language & rhetoric used to talk about single people. So much of it is so horribly negative – in fact most of it. You might say this is the very reason I am writing this blog, to lend my voice to a different rhetoric around being single, discussing whats good, as well as hard about it – to normalise … Continue reading Rhetoric of Singledom

New Paradigm

I just remembered a (male) friend say to me a few months ago that he wasn’t into relationships (he had been married for many years now divorced). I just thought (as most people would, Im sure even most people reading this) that he hadn’t found the right person or was somehow at fault himself. I didn’t think that soon I would have more insight and … Continue reading New Paradigm