It’s all about the ‘spark’…

The last guy I dated said there wasn’t enough ‘spark’ for him. My response was this: ‘The old spark, eh? To be honest I don’t suppose I felt a huge spark either but it makes me realise that I don’t even look for that anymore – I’ve had it so many times & things have been amazing for a short while then ended pretty badly. … Continue reading It’s all about the ‘spark’…

Non non monogamy

New lovers name should now be changed to oldlover. He wants to get back with his wife. He cant, but that doesn’t affect the impact it has on me of course. I know we weren’t going out together by any stretch but there was at least something pseudo romantic about our engagement. Its a shift for me and its not pleasant. I haven’t had as … Continue reading Non non monogamy

Men are like buses…

You wait for ages… In all honesty I haven’t waited for ages, and they haven’t all come along at once, but still – at the moment there’s 5 of them. And I feel this is the balance for all those times I had 3 possible dates lined up and they all fell through. Yep – sometimes you’re losing & sometimes…. newlover. He is like, my … Continue reading Men are like buses…

The Orgasm Gap. And some ideas about how to maybe close it…(Censored)

Leading on from the previous post; Female Pleasure – or not, this post explores the Orgasm Gap – as it’s something I wrote about having experienced, and then learned there was a name for it. In this article by Kate Hakala, is says that ‘on average, only 57% of women are having orgasms most or every time they have sex. The National Survey of Sexual Health and … Continue reading The Orgasm Gap. And some ideas about how to maybe close it…(Censored)

Women, be more like men; direct blame outwards

My previous partner blamed me for most things that went wrong. Him feeling stressed on the ‘holiday of a lifetime’ we took together to the far east to attend his brother’s wedding, his stress at me moving up to live with him (read; me leaving my job, my home, family and friends to leave everything that had been familiar to me my whole life to … Continue reading Women, be more like men; direct blame outwards

The thing that’s so great….

The thing that is just so great for me about the way I view things now is that all of that stuff – the things people used to say, that they still might say – the ‘old paradigm’ stuff where what I should be ultimately working towards is a partner and probably kids, and anything that isn’t about working towards that is wasting my time … Continue reading The thing that’s so great….

Dick Advisor (Censored)

I decided to invent a new tool (ahem) to go along with Tinder for use by hetero/bi women. Its true that, by and large, we are taught that the man ‘finishing’ is the ultimate goal of hetero sex and marks the ‘end’ of the sexual encounter. You’ll excuse the crass generalising (and thankfully I’m fully aware of how often this ISNT the case!) but Im … Continue reading Dick Advisor (Censored)

Not the best day….

My friend date and tinder dates yesterday fell through, it’s raining today, and my (almost fixed) broken toe is aching again just in time for my long anticipated night of dancing this evening. But really I’m incredibly sad. I found out late last night that my ex was in hospital awaiting surgery.  Its likely nothing too serious but I feel disproportionately upset by it, and … Continue reading Not the best day….

Tinder Date 1; Gil, the Israeli, 29 (Censored)

So, I went on my first Tinder date on the weekend. I was scared! But, jeez, what stories I have now! This guy was such a character – more of a caricature actually. We fancied eachother immediately, Chemistry? Yep! And the best kisser… But more of that later. It started in the pub (actually it started with my going to the wrong 4* hotel in … Continue reading Tinder Date 1; Gil, the Israeli, 29 (Censored)