Constellations #2: Survival Strategies

There is a part of me, when I look now, that is always hopeless. Always sad. Now that I have seen her I cannot unsee her and I cannot comfort her. She has always been sad and inconsolable which is why I haven’t looked or, at least, lack of being able to ever comfort her means I always have to turn away in the end, … Continue reading Constellations #2: Survival Strategies


Project Ready to galvanise my grief into something positive, I visited a hypnotherapist to enhance my resolve for a new creative project (What to do with negative emotions). Unfortunately it didn’t go at all as I had imagined. I had already begun to feel empowered, that I was taking control of my negative emotions, would be soon turning them into something else, of creative value, … Continue reading Constellations

What to do with negative emotions

This might actually be me giving up on looking for romantic love. After my last internet dating experience my thought was ‘I don’t know if I am going to do this again’, and as it stands now I am still thinking that I probably won’t. The feelings of disappointment were so great they were becoming all consuming (Internet dating as a woman? Its shit.). And … Continue reading What to do with negative emotions

Sadness & Grief

I don’t want to underplay the sadness and grief that have been and still sometimes are involved in the break-up of my last relationship. The hardest thing was knowing he was supposed to have been my husband – that’s how I saw our future, and my world came crashing down one morning after holiday, where he started saying things to me – unbelievably hurtful and … Continue reading Sadness & Grief