I wish I had been born in a future generation where there are no couples, or at least, it’s not the default, not the expected route – because there are lots of possible routes. There’s less competitiveness because women are equal, and we are all trying to emulate men and masculine qualities much less. Here the patriarchal, consumerist and religious drivers for marriage (and by … Continue reading Uncharted Waters
This might actually be me giving up on looking for romantic love. After my last internet dating experience my thought was ‘I don’t know if I am going to do this again’, and as it stands now I am still thinking that I probably won’t. The feelings of disappointment were so great they were becoming all consuming (Internet dating as a woman? Its shit.). And … Continue reading What to do with negative emotions
Having just come back from my brothers (very beautiful, very happy) wedding, I’m caught between two equally legitimate, equally real warring truths; Our aspirations for love, and the reality of life. Of course, as my brothers wedding proves – these can overlap. We can fall in love and marry (if we choose) the person we love and this can be a wonderful and beautiful thing. … Continue reading Please CHANGE the Relationship Rhetoric (FFS!)
For almost a whole month I have not written a post. This is a long hiatus – the longest since I began blogging (albeit less than a year ago!). But there is a really good reason for this – I’ve been busy, suddenly with dates and job applications (in my quest to find a co-parent and financial support respectively) for my potential baby (I want a … Continue reading Learning is painful. And it takes time.
I realise through my candid discussions with newlover how sad it can be to be confronted with someone else’s ‘new paradigm‘ perspective on romantic relationships, like the one I have. The sadness of what he was saying really hit me the other day when we were talking and I wondered if what I say and the beliefs I explore affect people around me who I … Continue reading My relationship world view; negative or pragmatic?
I used to fall for people who I really liked & really fancied. Usually I liked them so much partly because they were somehow unavailable, maybe not looking for a relationship like I was – or at least not with me. Then, my heart having been broken by some such man in a life changing ‘I’m never putting myself through that again’ kind of way, … Continue reading Don’t assume you know my relationship priorities
Its best to leave your dating profile blurb pretty sparse in my opinion. The fact is people see your pictures and project a fantasy of you onto you which may or may not exist in reality. And why not let them? People hang onto these projected fantasies long after any relationship has begun, until such a point as reality hits in maybe a few months or even … Continue reading Dating profiles – less is more
New lovers name should now be changed to oldlover. He wants to get back with his wife. He cant, but that doesn’t affect the impact it has on me of course. I know we weren’t going out together by any stretch but there was at least something pseudo romantic about our engagement. Its a shift for me and its not pleasant. I haven’t had as … Continue reading Non non monogamy
I’ve packed lots of other stuff without a second thought – books, papers, CD’s, ornaments… but somehow my clothes seem different. Maybe its because, picking up the first batch of folded clothes on the bed I notice the bag I am about to put them into says ‘TO TAKE’, from when I labelled it for leaving Leeds. Then it hits me – the sadness – … Continue reading Its packing the clothes that gets me…
I wonder about my writing a blog as being a way for my life to not go unnoticed. Because much of it, being single, I live by myself. Also my romantic encounters now don’t tend to be part of anything wider – my friends, my family etc, they happen largely in isolation. Its almost as if they don’t happen at all. Of course they do, … Continue reading Bearing witness to my life