Dick Advisor (Censored)

I decided to invent a new tool (ahem) to go along with Tinder for use by hetero/bi women.

Its true that, by and large, we are taught that the man ‘finishing’ is the ultimate goal of hetero sex and marks the ‘end’ of the sexual encounter. You’ll excuse the crass generalising (and thankfully I’m fully aware of how often this ISNT the case!) but Im sure you recognise the default formula. Its also often true that sex may be enjoyable to a point for a woman – beyond which it can just hurt. Whats the etiquette here? I know, its obvious – tell him it hurts!!! – but equally, for some there can be a moment of hesitation before that – our polite (English?) women training which stops us. And sometimes theres not such a big line between this and it just being really unpleasant – and for such an intimate situation with a complete stranger, it can be a tricky one to negotiate.

And of course safety is a concern – albeit hopefully a mild one – and it shouldn’t be too much of a concern for it to stop your fun. Ultimately, with hook – ups and the like, the more concern we can remove about things like safety, the happier we are, the more room there is for the FUN to come into play. The ultimate goal being the full sexual freedom and fun that women deserve, that men – in general – so often already enjoy.

So, how to ensure that crucial little extra safety & pleasure for women using Tinder….?

Ladies, may I introduce;

Dick Advisor

Basically the concept is peer reviews for your hook ups. I don’t mean blurting out every detail and ruining everyones fun – I just mean, if he plays too rough, you can flag it, so those women out there who don’t want this can steer clear. If he has no interest in your pleasure, other women may not want to waste time on him. Or in a worst case scenario, if he is actively not nice in some way, this of course is crucial information and you can flag it so everyone can keep their distance.

I’ve thought of some possible categories so far – if you have other ideas let me know!

Category Responses
Interest in my pleasure? Zilch/Kinda/Pretty much/Yep/ HELL YEAH!
Nice to me?


No (here’s why)/Kind of/ Pretty much/ Yep/Lovely/Really lovely/Super lovely
He likes it


Too rough/Rough but in a good way/Just right/Soft (in a good way)/Mixed bag but all good


Nada/OK/Pretty good/Very good/Wowzers!/A bit too creative for me (in an OK way)/A bit too creative for me (in a bad way)


Silencio (in a bad way)/Silencio (in a good way)/One way/Average/Good/Really good/Excellent
Overall yes/no/maybe

To leave notes on someone you wouldn’t have to answer all categories, just the ones that may be useful to fellow tinderites. The idea isn’t to say how good or bad they were in bed, but mainly to give a heads up to how attentive and kind they were. Of course its never going to be an exact science, and of course different people will have different chemistry/ experience depending on who they are etc. Maybe its easiest to illustrate with an example…

Take my last date (and not just cos I want to show off about how lovely he was :)).It might read something like this;

Desh*, 30

*not his real name (or face)

Category Responses
Interest in my pleasure?




Nice to me?


Super lovely


He likes it


Just right




Pretty good






Overall – yes/no/maybe YES

Actually, I added that last category about communicating after meeting him – he really taught me something new about communication, that I didn’t even realise I needed to learn (?!)…but I couldn’t have that as a response option as I think that’s probably going to be pretty rare!

So its not detailed notes we’re talking – we’re not here to be spoiling a girls (or a boys!) fun now are we?! And of course it should be taken with a pinch of salt as each persons experience is different. It would be (when its actually set up and I get paid a gizzilion quid for the idea) optional to see, and you could easily use Tinder without ever looking at it. Equally, you may choose to look then decide to ignore it anyway – and why not, thats your prerogative. But it would be there for those that want it. You might use it kind of like you’d use something like, ooh, I don’t know, say ….Trip Advisor?

Another outcome is that the men who opt in will then be rated much more on just their pictures – and those that are treating women the best will get rewarded for it – with way more hook ups! And deservedly so.

Related posts;

Tinder Date 1; Gil, the Israeli, 29 CENSORED

Men, men, men, men, men (oh my!)

3 thoughts on “Dick Advisor (Censored)

  1. I’ve thought about this – and wondered if humans could be trusted to use it appropriately. How many rejectees would lash out simply b/c they felt chemistry and the other didn’t and let them down? I’ve certainly had men seem angry…overall though, I’m more in favor than not.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Christine, thought I’d replied to this…. thanks for your comments. Actually I imagined it would be just visible to the women who use it! So there would be no chance of a lash out… and its not to test them re performance or chemistry really as of course that varies person to person – more of a safety thing and how keen they are to please you -rather than just ‘getting their dick wet’ if you’ll excuse the vulgar phrase!


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