Tinder Date 1; Gil, the Israeli, 29 (Censored)

So, I went on my first Tinder date on the weekend. I was scared!

But, jeez, what stories I have now! This guy was such a character – more of a caricature actually.

We fancied eachother immediately, Chemistry? Yep! And the best kisser… But more of that later.

It started in the pub (actually it started with my going to the wrong 4* hotel in central London (yes!!) and getting a bit lost)…where was I? Oh yes, we chatted in the pub, where he made me laugh a lot (very funny, very sharp). He also told me lots of fascinating things about himself, including how good looking he was, and that his favourite nation was the Japanese because they fancied him so much. To illustrate this he told me a story of when a woman approached him in Tokyo a park to get him to show her how to do ridiculously difficult pull ups he was doing 1000s of (he has awesome biceps). Apparently, to show her she insisted he lift her up with both his hands around her waist (nice one missus!). Her boyfriend was watching, but Gil asked her out anyway – and apparently the boyfriend smiled with delight.

There were some genuinely very interesting things about this guy – he was an ex commander in the Israeli army. He’s seen and done a lot of really serious shit. He’s lost 5 members of his unit in 2 Middle East wars, he helped get his friend to safety after his legs had been blown off, he’s been shot twice; ricochet bullets, one in his belly and one in his neck, and shockingly; he’s killed people. During the war he once stayed awake for 10 days straight he was so pumped with adrenaline, scared that he and his unit would be killed.

Its funny you might have a vision of this guy – some huge, older bloke who looks a bit of rough but Gil looks nothing like that – you wouldn’t know at all from looking at him about the kinds of things he’s seen and done. He just looks like a normal, young, slim, attractive Israeli surfer – with very pretty eyelashes.

He wanted me to know he was a pacifist – that he only did what his country required of him, that he believed in peace and he believed he never killed anyone innocent. Im not making any judgement either way on any of this, just sharing it as it was quite a story.

The hotel was nice (he’s here on business) – quiet, and far too hot for some reason like an old age home. It was a lovely evening and we climbed out onto the roof outside his window – with a lovely view of the garden, near the treetops and the back of the British Museum. How fun to see London from a new angle – one I never imagined I would even a few hours before.

Gil had told me earlier that he was a martial arts black belt since the age of 6 – Krav Maga and the like, and as I have dabbled in Krav Maga myself he challenged me to a naked fight in the hotel room, as you do. It didn’t last long, but to me it was ridiculous as it was reminiscent of the naked wrestling scene by the fire in Women In Love. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xY_Kb5Qkj-4&oref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DxY_Kb5Qkj-4&has_verified=1

Though this would have been completely lost on Gil – the dramatic irony of this made it even more ridiculous in my mind.

We drank a whole bottle of Bacardi, then went downstairs – to correct – he first tried to send me, then tried to go by himself (what a charmer :)) – to the completely empty bar to speak to the bartender about what a whole bottle of Bacardi would cost if delivered in shots. About £350 it turns out. We opted for a double each.

More facts about Gil include that he has over 100 notches on his bedpost (he knew the exact figure) and has had 4 orgies. He took a photo of my naked back. This might be his thing – I suppose he has a collection of these photos of womens backs somewhere, which I quite like in a way. A romantic notion for an otherwise (likeable) egotistical, Israeli macho man.


It was such an experience and I’m pleased I had it, but I learned something from Gil, about men with big egos and sex – that they want to please you, but only if its in a way that makes them feel better about themselves, or doesn’t stand to threaten or compromise their ego in any way which, as I discovered, is rather limiting.

If he had been hanging around I would be marking him ‘Good Story’ rather than ‘See again’.

Flashcard: Gil, 29

Nice to me? Yes, generally, and very chivalrous. Said a couple of weird things but I just argued back.
Chemistry? Hello Mr.
Good kisser? HELL yeah
Good in the sack? Yes but….
Interest in my pleasure at the expense of his own ego? Nil points
Best qualities Very flirty, very funny, sharp witted. Also, for all his ego there was a real honesty to it which I liked. Oh and he smelt good. He smelt really good.
Good story or see again? Good – nay – excellent story

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3 thoughts on “Tinder Date 1; Gil, the Israeli, 29 (Censored)

    1. Actually yes I did believe him – he didnt have much reason to lie about that stuff. Though its definitely possible he hammed some of his stories up just a bit….he loved himself ALOT – but his arrogance kind of helped me feel at ease in a certain way. I was just along for the ride… so to speak! 😉 Though as my blog post suggests, he couldn’t get over himself enough to turn his attention too much to my pleasure. REAL turn off. But I was pleased for the experience – the way I see it, with any of these hook ups, if they turn out to be a bit of a dick, I still get a good story out of it!

      Liked by 1 person

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